Yuppers

In training....it's long and boring

My hours are going to be 9-5:30.... I kinda got stuck with it, but I guess it's better then 6:30.... I'll get more sleep with this shift...

Emmas doctor is an ass.... Everytime I hear his voice I wanna hit him!!!! ARGH!!!

lol..

Back to more training

First day at Arvato

Work Went Well.

I'm glad.

On the Road to normalness...

Finally.

YAY!

2009

2009 is almost here, It makes me feel Somewhat refreshed and Feel like I need to move on out of Crappy 2008. I hope 2009 brings Joy.

I'm Blessed with a Lovely Baby Girl and that's always a beautiful way to start a new year.

I'll be going to the Tye party, They always have amazing Parties. That should help me feel better.... Can't wait to see all the friends that know how to put a smile on my face. Plus this year I get my Shelly with us too! Last year She was crusin to Mexico! 

Bringing in the new year.... A Year to patch and repair my hurt, anger, aggression, but most of all, another year to watch Emma Grow... these past 2 years have flown by, and Man she is So Smart and Amazing. It's weird to think about what my life was like before her, She saved me from doing alot of stupid things and caused me to grow up some - I'm sure I need to grow up more...but life is short!

I Love my baby, I Love my Family, I Love my Friends, and Lets enjoy this new Year...

Xmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve. It doesn't feel like it..... I Pick up Emma @ 6:30, Makes me sad it has to be so late, but we negotiated.... ughhhhhh

Then off to Grandmas....

Whats real

I hate this. I hate this all.


I want snuggles, cuddles and Love.


My Brain Can't handle it all, But Yet it's what I want.

Why confusing times? Why was this chosen for me.

When do I feel Happiness and When is it real.

Sperm Donor

Damage. Pain. Hurt.

Sucks.

I need Normal.

I Need a Home.

I need My Baby.

I need happiness...

I need Love...

So much I need, and so much of it is out of reach...

This is not the life I picked.

I never wanted to feel this abuse.

I've always just wanted to be happy.

You Shattered my happiness.

Your a Heartless Bastard.

I hate you.

I wish you were a sperm donor only.

Can't wait 2 B normal

I'm not relationship Material.
My mind, nor my heart is ready.

For now, I will Rest my heart.

Someday I will be Healed from this damage...

Someday I will feel Alive again.

I can't wait.... To be normal